


No. 1

by toprak



Category: Original Work
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Health Issues, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:20:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26477101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toprak/pseuds/toprak
Summary: This is one of the things I've written at 1 a.m. Have fun, I guess??





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of the things I've written at 1 a.m. Have fun, I guess??

I have decided to leave.

It was too much and we all knew it. They were expecting it. They wanted it to happen. 

I took my phone with me, right? Oh, here it is.

I was alone. They all told me that with their eyes. With their words that were pronounced way differently. And sometimes with the words that were pronounced exactly. 

Wait what should I wear? Actually, screw it, no one will care.

I was silent. My psychologist used to tell me to speak more. My parents, my teachers, and my friends were all telling me to speak more. That no one was going to hurt me if I spoke. Or did something. Like no one was going to say anything. Like I wasn’t gonna draw any attention.

Where is the rope? Oh, found it.

My mom tried to stop me. She thought she could. She thought I was a fool. Just like how my first girlfriend thought about me. My girlfriend did stop me, at least she helped a little bit. My parents still couldn’t understand that they are the problem.

Where should I put this? Well, this seems high enough.

Sometimes the bastard in my head wakes up. Sometimes they show videos. Sometimes they’ll just scream and remind me of my old trauma. We had a full conversation once. They were really rude, but we shared the same thoughts. I tried to kill it, of course, didn’t work. I’m kind of glad it didn’t work, now there is someone who understands and listens to me.

I tied it around. Had to do it on tiptoes, cause 5’2” life isn’t that easy. It didn’t look good, not how I wanted it to look. But since they’ll be horrified when they see it, the aesthetic doesn’t matter that much. I opened my playlist. The piano’s minor chords were like heaven to my ears. 

I slipped my head through the rope and placed it in the middle of my throat so I’ll be able to breathe. I adjusted the rope, tried it, and I slowly lowered myself. I could feel the pressure rising in my head. The feeling was marvelous. My eyes felt like they were going to explode. I shut them close. The music started to fade away. I was frightened. I tried to escape, my mind not thinking straight. I was trying to escape through the door, run away. My vision was going black. I thought of my last thought, told my last words. 

I’m free.


	2. not everything went as planned

My mind has already started to blackout. I screamed, I guess, for my mom. To come and save me. I tried to run to the door. I failed. I struggled through the rope, throwing my head to the sides. My brain started working, a little bit. And struggling, I slipped my head out of the rope. Tired, I went to bed. Few seconds passed as I lay down and I started crying. In disappointment and anger. Why didn't I just let myself die? Why did I have to escape? I knew I was gonna regret this. I'm so pathetic. My tears stopped. I forgot how to cry a long time ago. I checked my phone. It was already 3 a.m. My eyelids closed out of exhaustion... I'll go to school tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the original ending. Hope you found this little story (?) good.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. Thank you for reading this...thing. If you need to talk, feel free to rant in the comments. If there are any mistakes in this please tell me what they are so I can get better both in English and writing. Take care, love y'all.


End file.
